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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Premium Member Psypher GravesMale/United States Group :iconcyber-demons: Cyber-Demons
 
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Deviant for 1 Year
2 Month Premium Membership:
Given by an Anonymous Deviant
Statistics 87 Deviations 7,826 Comments 6,831 Pageviews

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When I was young my mother told me something that has stuck with me up til now.

"Hate is very strong word. I believe you can dislike someone or something, but you can never truely hate."

Those word have led me to attempt to see the see good in everyone. To give people a chance. Even if I were to use the word "hate" I would never be serious about it. Its jus one of those words that rolls of the tongue so easily. Throughout my life I've had many shortcomings and a few noteworthy triumphs. I've experienced so much misfortune that I've had the misfortune of being able to analyze them. And it was through this analysis that I discovered just how strong hate is. Not just as a word but as a feeling. A natural human emotion that exists within us all. With some, the hate is much greater, much stronger than with others. And I've tried...I've tried to deal with it on my own. Because there is no one that I can turn to. And that boiling hatred that has built itself up inside of me has slowly...slowly began to seep through cracks and holes of the wall that was once my will. A man's hatred is truely a powerful force. But you gotta ask..."Where did the hatred come from? What caused such a nice person to harbor such thoughts?" There happens to be quite a few answers to those questions. Society, loneliness, jealousy, lies, betrayal, abandonment, disrespect, etc. The list goes on! But the most important piece to this little puzzle...more important than anything else...is myself. Yes, all of my misfortune and thus all of my hatred, all stems from my own self. I am the true root of the problem. This perplexing conundrum...is all because of me. I hate the way society and this current generation is. I hate being that guy no one wants to talk to. I hate sitting here alone while everyone I know is happy with someone. I hate modern music. I hate internet drama. I hate it when people tell me they'll be here for and that they're my friends, then the moment I need them they turn their backs. I hate myself because...because I'm the one who set myself up to endure the pain I feel in my heart every single day. And the worse part...the part I fear the most...is that I might be growing used to the pain. The emotional and quite physical pain of hatred.

This hatred I've carried with me for so long, while it usually comes from intense anger, I've been unable to let that anger out which in turn becomes extreme sadness. However, for personal reasons I am unable to cry. This then takes that sadness and turns into a form of severe depression and as of recently, anxiety attacks. People have told me "You should get help" This makes me upset because I wouldn't feel comfortable telling some strange person I don't stuff like I'm sad because I'm single. But now...I don't even know if I can even talk to those I call friends. I'd rather not lose anymore friends because they got sick of my "Emo Bullshit" So I try to handle my own emotional instability and in doing so I realized that I may in fact have some form of bipolar disorder. Those who have known me long enough know that at times I have taken my own emotional distress out on myself. This is because while part of me harbors my extreme hatred and anger, the other part of me is still compassionate and cares for others. And because of that I would never be able to bring myself to take my emotions out on anyone else. I'm kindhearted by nature. Which is one of the things I hate about myself but it can't be belp. Call me crazy if you want, call me a psycho, I don't care anymore. I will admit getting this stuff off my chest has made me feel a little better. However I've lived for 22 years...and if I were to guess I'd say 5 or 6 more is all I have left before I go off the deep end and...well...use your imagination 

I know nobody's going to even read this. There's no reason to. That's my whole point of putting this here.
  • Mood: Homicidal
Request: Honey the Cat by PrototypeTheory
Request: Honey the Cat
This is one of those overdue requests I owed to my friend Kudan7 over on FurAffinity. He wanted me to draw (or at least try to draw) Honey the Cat. You know...the hidden character from Sonic the Fighters. Anyways I tried my best to draw her while stricken with Art Block at the same time. Now luckily I finished this and showed it to him a long time ago...but I figured I should post something here at least every once in a while.

Honey the Cat belongs to Sega
Art belongs to me.
Loading...
You know what...I'm done.
33%
1 deviant said Ignore this. This is just me venting over some complete BS that keeps happening. But I'm done with it.
33%
1 deviant said I'm the kind of person who will message people because I want to talk, I want to get to know people, to at least make an attempt at being someone's friend. But I guess I must have done some unspeakable evil that I'm unaware of that made people hate me.
33%
1 deviant said Well if that's the case then fine. I'm done trying to be nice friendly only for people to spit in my face.
0%
No deviants said People always told me "If you wanna talk to someone, try talking first. But no! Whenever I do that, people either...
0%
No deviants said Never reply to me yet reply everyone else...or....
0%
No deviants said Reply a few time with short BS replies like they aren't even interested in talking. Then they stop replying altogether!
0%
No deviants said And whats worse is they have the nerve to put on their profile that anyone can talk to them. Or they'll make a journal about adding them on skype only for them to NEVER EVER reply.
0%
No deviants said And no its not a matter of being busy because if they were they wouldn't go on and offline everyday, change their skype status, or even their Skype ID. Yet I see it all the time.
0%
No deviants said And this is not directed at those who are actually busy and those who do talk to me. I'm a very understanding person. I know that people can't talk all the time but I'm sick of being treated this way.
0%
No deviants said So why did I do a poll like this? I don't know...I'm just pissed right now. So from now on if anyone wants to talk to me. Message me first!!! I won't ignore anyone.
I got Smash Bros for Wii U....expect to not see or hear from me for quite a while.

deviantID

PrototypeTheory
Psypher Graves
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
Hello there. I'm not someone new to DA. I've decided to start again for reasons I will not go into. So don't waste your breath asking. For those who do know who I am, I don't really need to say anything. But for anyone new who is reading this, let me just say this and make it as clear as possible. I am a very nice person. I like to draw, chat, make friends, rp, the whole 9 yards I suppose. However, because of those reasons I mentioned earlier, I have a difficult time trusting people. If you wanna be my friend....EARN IT! And if we do become friends, do not cross me. I will not hesitate to kill a friendship and cut someone out of my life. I'm a nice guy, probably one of the nicest, but I can also be a real asshole when pushed. So to sum things up, don't fuck with me and we'll get along just fine.

Thank you for reading this message. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask. I read all comments regardless of weither or not I reply to it. Again, thank you and welcome to my DA.
When I was young my mother told me something that has stuck with me up til now.

"Hate is very strong word. I believe you can dislike someone or something, but you can never truely hate."

Those word have led me to attempt to see the see good in everyone. To give people a chance. Even if I were to use the word "hate" I would never be serious about it. Its jus one of those words that rolls of the tongue so easily. Throughout my life I've had many shortcomings and a few noteworthy triumphs. I've experienced so much misfortune that I've had the misfortune of being able to analyze them. And it was through this analysis that I discovered just how strong hate is. Not just as a word but as a feeling. A natural human emotion that exists within us all. With some, the hate is much greater, much stronger than with others. And I've tried...I've tried to deal with it on my own. Because there is no one that I can turn to. And that boiling hatred that has built itself up inside of me has slowly...slowly began to seep through cracks and holes of the wall that was once my will. A man's hatred is truely a powerful force. But you gotta ask..."Where did the hatred come from? What caused such a nice person to harbor such thoughts?" There happens to be quite a few answers to those questions. Society, loneliness, jealousy, lies, betrayal, abandonment, disrespect, etc. The list goes on! But the most important piece to this little puzzle...more important than anything else...is myself. Yes, all of my misfortune and thus all of my hatred, all stems from my own self. I am the true root of the problem. This perplexing conundrum...is all because of me. I hate the way society and this current generation is. I hate being that guy no one wants to talk to. I hate sitting here alone while everyone I know is happy with someone. I hate modern music. I hate internet drama. I hate it when people tell me they'll be here for and that they're my friends, then the moment I need them they turn their backs. I hate myself because...because I'm the one who set myself up to endure the pain I feel in my heart every single day. And the worse part...the part I fear the most...is that I might be growing used to the pain. The emotional and quite physical pain of hatred.

This hatred I've carried with me for so long, while it usually comes from intense anger, I've been unable to let that anger out which in turn becomes extreme sadness. However, for personal reasons I am unable to cry. This then takes that sadness and turns into a form of severe depression and as of recently, anxiety attacks. People have told me "You should get help" This makes me upset because I wouldn't feel comfortable telling some strange person I don't stuff like I'm sad because I'm single. But now...I don't even know if I can even talk to those I call friends. I'd rather not lose anymore friends because they got sick of my "Emo Bullshit" So I try to handle my own emotional instability and in doing so I realized that I may in fact have some form of bipolar disorder. Those who have known me long enough know that at times I have taken my own emotional distress out on myself. This is because while part of me harbors my extreme hatred and anger, the other part of me is still compassionate and cares for others. And because of that I would never be able to bring myself to take my emotions out on anyone else. I'm kindhearted by nature. Which is one of the things I hate about myself but it can't be belp. Call me crazy if you want, call me a psycho, I don't care anymore. I will admit getting this stuff off my chest has made me feel a little better. However I've lived for 22 years...and if I were to guess I'd say 5 or 6 more is all I have left before I go off the deep end and...well...use your imagination 

I know nobody's going to even read this. There's no reason to. That's my whole point of putting this here.
  • Mood: Homicidal

You know what...I'm done. 

33%
1 deviant said Ignore this. This is just me venting over some complete BS that keeps happening. But I'm done with it.
33%
1 deviant said I'm the kind of person who will message people because I want to talk, I want to get to know people, to at least make an attempt at being someone's friend. But I guess I must have done some unspeakable evil that I'm unaware of that made people hate me.
33%
1 deviant said Well if that's the case then fine. I'm done trying to be nice friendly only for people to spit in my face.
0%
No deviants said People always told me "If you wanna talk to someone, try talking first. But no! Whenever I do that, people either...
0%
No deviants said Never reply to me yet reply everyone else...or....
0%
No deviants said Reply a few time with short BS replies like they aren't even interested in talking. Then they stop replying altogether!
0%
No deviants said And whats worse is they have the nerve to put on their profile that anyone can talk to them. Or they'll make a journal about adding them on skype only for them to NEVER EVER reply.
0%
No deviants said And no its not a matter of being busy because if they were they wouldn't go on and offline everyday, change their skype status, or even their Skype ID. Yet I see it all the time.
0%
No deviants said And this is not directed at those who are actually busy and those who do talk to me. I'm a very understanding person. I know that people can't talk all the time but I'm sick of being treated this way.
0%
No deviants said So why did I do a poll like this? I don't know...I'm just pissed right now. So from now on if anyone wants to talk to me. Message me first!!! I won't ignore anyone.

Comments


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:icon3d-xecution:
3D-Xecution Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New member
:icondevwatchthankyouplz:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconlinzoreborn:
LinzoReborn Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Hellow Prototype Theory
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcrimsontagger:
CrimsonTagger Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oh hey again~
thanks for the watch (again ;P)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconlillythehedgehog1:
Lillythehedgehog1 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks for the watch!Lovely Shoujo Emoji (Huggy Hug) [V2]  
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconartheyna:
Artheyna Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for the Watch! :la:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconleilanithewolf:
leilanithewolf Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014
I finally found you XD!!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbarbara-darkness:
Barbara-Darkness Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014
thank you for the watch~
    ~Darkness
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconxmidnightwhispers:
xMidnightWhispers Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Student General Artist
Hello! I was reading my waiting list and I was dropping by to let know you I am opening up my point commissions since it's thanksgiving break for me!

If you're still interested in commissioning me, please send me a note on what you want! (:
Reply
:iconsonic4ever760:
sonic4ever760 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Student Artist
I know you from FurAffinity
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsailorsetsuna:
SailorSetsuna Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank u so much for the watch! :D
Reply
(1 Reply)
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